so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
