RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
