the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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