Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
