If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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