she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
