I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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