Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
