Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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