I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
