I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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