watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
