Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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