Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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