Little spoons don't ask big questions
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
