I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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