This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i've created a new STD.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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