Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
