I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
