I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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