let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
