Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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