you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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