porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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