Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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