Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Randomize
