Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
