do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
A bitchslap is in order.
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