What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
