Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
