You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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