We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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