i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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