i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
tell me about the eggs
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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