forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I faked an abortion last night.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
