she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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