...so i touched it.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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