So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
