come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
