I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
