Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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