i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
