i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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