I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
