Whod you bang
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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