i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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