she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
