He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
