I'm going to rape someone's good day.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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