Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
