Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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