Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
