Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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