he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
