I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
